You and I, Together
by AlphabeatSoupp
Summary: Jeffrey Sterling is a rising popstar, while Nick Duvall is just a fan that's been there from the beginning. Two boys from two separate worlds struggle to find themselves while wishing they could find each other.
1. Our Story is Set in Fair Verona

Hello there, everybody. I've spent the past few weeks mulling this idea over in my head. As it says in the summary, this is an AU where Jeff is a rising popstar and Nick is a fan that's been there from the beginning.

I'm hoping to keep the rating at T, however, this will be very angst heavy at some parts, and I will add trigger warnings as needed.

By the nature of fanfiction, I do not own glee, Jeff, Nick, or anything else you may recognize.

As far as music, some bits are my own, some will be from others, and credit will be placed where it is due.

So, here we go. I hope you enjoy. If you have a moment, I'd really appreciate your reviews.

-Katherine

* * *

_I know you're walking around_

_Somewhere_

_I know I'll find you_

_Someday_

_The final chord of the song rang out and the radio host came on. You heard it here first! That's Jeffrey Sterling's new single "Someday."_

_And in case you're just checking in to The Wave, we are also joined by none other than Jeffery Sterling himself!_

"_What's up everybody?" Jeffrey laughed._

"_So that was your single's radio premiere! Can you tell us what you're feeling right now?"_

_Jeffrey laughed again. "This is just crazy, you know? I don't think I could ever get used to the sound of my art being put out there for everyone."_

_The host took the brief silence to encourage him to continue. "It was about a year ago that this all started, yeah?"_

"_Yup. It was last June that all this took off. We released an album, did a national tour, just wrapped my second album. We're in the midst of planning a second tour, this one being international and-"_

"_Hold up Jeffrey did we know about this international tour?" The host interrupted, being overly enthusiastic in comparison to Jeffrey._

"_Well, now you do. We're going to release the dates next Friday."_

"_Oh my god folks! You heard that here first too! Jeffrey Sterling's new single, his international tour announcement, more to come on The Wave!"_

Nick Duvall turned the volume of the radio stream down as it switched to commercial. He sighed as he thought of how far Jeffrey had come. Nearly two years ago Nick had come across his YouTube channel, full of a few acoustic covers and some of Jeffrey's originals hastily recorded on Garageband.

A few months after Nick had discovered Jeffrey, he released a demo CD, which caught the attention of his current recording label.

They sponsored Jeffrey to do a small handful of shows around America. Nick had been lucky enough to get to his Illinois show. On the bulletin board above Nick's bed hung a signed picture of Jeffrey and Nick from the meet and greet.

_Nicky,_

_I loved getting to talk with you today!_

_Never forget your inner strength_

_-Jeff_

The night Nick met Jeffrey, two promises were made-Jeffrey had Nick promise him that he would never quit fighting, and Jeffrey in turn had promised Nick that he would never change.

So far, both promises held true.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, Jeffrey Sterling made his way out of the radio studio to the car waiting for him. He opened the door to find his publicist waiting for him.

"Jeffrey, _get in!" _she hissed. Jeff sighed as he got into the back seat and shut the door. "Honestly, did you thank the custodial staff on your way out? You should've been done half an hour ago!"

Jeffrey pulled out his phone, completely uninterested in what Joanne was saying to him. "It's called being polite. You should try it occasionally."

The woman rolled her eyes. "You don't need to be polite once you make it to the Top Ten."

Jeffrey muttered "Whatever" under his breath, before logging into his twitter. He scrolled through his mentions, skimming the praises his fans had sent him. Jeffrey opened a new tweet and typed:

_JSterling: Thanks to all of so much for your kind words on Someday! Just know I do everything I do for all of you guys, as I could never be (...)_

The boy frowned at the character limit. It felt like a sentence fragment.

_JSterling: where I am today without each and everyone of you! I love you all so much(:_

He scrolled through his feed to see if there was anything worthwhile from the few friends he's managed to make since moving to Los Angeles.

"Jeffrey," Joanne's voice was harsh. "You always sound so gay when you tweet. Stop that or you'll turn into Perez."

He rolled his eyes again and started another tweet.

_JSterling: On my way to the dance studio! Super excited to get to dance tonight. And perhaps this is preparation for a music video...? ;)_

A moment passed before Joanne sighed, "Jeffrey..."

A smile appeared on his face and he rolled down the window.

* * *

Nick smiled as he read Jeffrey Sterling's last tweets. Every reminder that he was still the boy on YouTube warmed Nick's heart.

Okay, so maybe Nick Duvall has had a little crush on Jeffrey Sterling for two years. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone. He hears the jokes made about the popstar in school. It was like when Justin Bieber got signed. Not everybody appreciated his less-than-masculine look and made girl jokes and comments completely irrelevant to his talent.

Nick had never even told anybody of his liking to Jeffrey Sterling's music. He was bullied enough for detesting athletics, and anything else the 'jocks' could think of, he really didn't wish to give any more of a reason to be beat up during lunch.

It's not that he had anything to hide. It's normal to have crushes on celebrities of the same gender as yourself, right? It's not like he ever had a chance with Jeffrey, so it didn't matter. Nick was straight. He just had a liking for music and dance. He was definitely straight; Nick had a girlfriend. So he was straight.

Right?

* * *

Later that night Jeffrey sat in the back of the studio with the choreographer, Austin. "I'm really impressed at how quickly you picked up on this number."

The pop star just laughed, "I just like dancing. It makes sense to me."

"Thank the stars! Having to teach dance to people who can't dance is the worst. Especially because they always come with the biggest egos." Steven rolled his eyes at past memories.

Jeffrey's face fell, "Austin, I don't have a big ego, do I?"

"What? Are you kidding me? Jeffrey Mark Sterling, you are one of the most humble people I have ever met. I seriously don't get how you never have a girlfriend. Chicks dig that."

Jeffrey just shrugged. "I just haven't found the right person yet."

Austin stood up and started walking around to the door. He paused in the doorway. "You'll find her someday." Austin winked and walked.

Jeffrey just laughed at the irony of the statement.


	2. As the World Revolves

_Well, I have to admit I'm embarrassed how long it took me to get solely this first update out. (Excuse time, start read the next paragraph if you don't care. which I'm assuming you don't. Because I wouldn't). But it's been a crazy insane month and a half-ish. I was in New York for this music thing for two weeks, which is where I started writing it. Naturally it's all hand written and little one shots that probably won't make it into canon, but yeah. Then they day I returned home I started band camp. Which is where my emotional roller coaster began. Classes started, and I'm already buried under assignments and rehearsals. Then the coaster went way way up because I was lucky enough to go an R5 concert, then some stuff has been happening that has made me cry more times in the passed few days than i have in the passed two years. Also I had it written then I left Spotify playing for too long with my computer not plugged in; my computer died and I lost it all. /end excuses_

_And now I'm embarrassed that I wrote all that off. Pinky promise that will be my longest Author's Note ever_

_Part 2-this is completely Jeff-centric_

_And to all of you have favorite, followed, and reviewed, THANK YOU. I cannot tell you how happy those emails have made me:)_

_Before I barf any more words: Part 2-As the World Revolves_

_Enjoy_

_-Katherine_

* * *

_Capital Records 9 a.m._

__"Alright Jeffrey, tour starts in exactly one hundred days. What's your goal for this tour?"

Jeffrey took a second then replied, "To give every fan an unforgettable experience."

The man in the suit and the head of the table (Jeffrey didn't even know his name. He made a mental note to find out), rubbed his temple. "Alright, let me rephrase this for you: what's your team's goal."

The popstar scrunched his nose. "Um...expand the franchise?"

Suit man nodded. "Right. And up until your tour kicks off, we're going to need you to never not be on the entertainment knows. Understand?" Jeffrey nodded. "We want you to be on every talk show. We need you to do more charity work; the tabloids adore you when you do that. Your bit of preparation starts next week. We're going to have a camera crew there. If you do your job, this tour should be successful enough for us to make a movie. Do you understand where it's going from there?"

Jeffrey started spinning his chair back and forth. "Yup. It means promotional tour, more opportunity for you guys to sell t-shirts with my face printed on it, and for you guys to sell some kind of gummy candies for ten dollars a pack at concession counters."

_"Jeffrey!" _He spun his chair around to see Joanna in the doorway. "I sure hope you haven't been disrespecting these men this entire meeting." She rolled her eyes of ice at her client and tipped the door shut with her foot.

The boy raised an eyebrow. "It started three minutes ago."

Joanna tilted her head at him. "Three minutes someone could have quit on you."

Suit man leaned toward the woman, "Jo you need to understand Jeffrey's not rude. He's blunt, and the media's eating up his personality right now because of just that."

The publicist tossed a lock of pin-straight (dyed) ginger hair behind her shoulder. "I don't care what the rags think of his ever-so-_endearing _personality. In two weeks they will be bored with him."

Jeffrey stopped spinning his chair and sunk into the cushion. He hated how everything was about him but never about _him_ all the fucking time.

Joanna took a sip from her latte or mocha or cappuccino in the Starbucks cup before faking a laugh. "What you fail to understand is there are only so many charities Jeffrey can smile for. They want his personal life. They want him to date somebody. It's simple."

Another man at the table, dressed in simple office attire spoke up for the first time. "I'm not so sure if they want him to date some girl. If we give them what they want, we have to create rumors." Jeffrey pushed down on the chair's armrests, seeing if the fabric would eat him. No such luck.

Joanna set down the cup and leaned forward. "Go on."

Office attire guy (Jeffrey knew his name. He knew it. Remember and knowing isn't the same thing, right?) licked his teeth and chuckled, "He just needs to be seen with people of the opposite gender every once in a while. Or, maybe we could start with baby steps. Something besides his guitar. He just needs to be seen with a girl enough for one headline to question the relationship status. And then with another girl. And another." Avery (Yes! That's his name!) leaned back in his chair, looking impressed with himself.

Joanna snickered, "If you can get that boy to do anything that requires to people without holding him at gunpoint, tell me your secret."

One of his managers stood up and walked to Jeffrey. He set his hands on the back of the chair. "This boy's got a head and heart too strong for this business." Jeffrey tilted his head up and his brown eyes sparkled a little. _Maybe I haven't broken my promise. _

"He's obviously doing something right," a small voice perked up from across the table. And intern or a secretary, Jeffrey couldn't tell, but he could tell the obvious wink over at him. The boy spun his chair away to Joanna.

His head manager, Beau, finally spoke up. "Now JJ, this is coming from me as a friend, mentor, dad, however you think of me, not from someone in your business. You need to get out every once in a while. You're twenty! You have the looks, the personality, the talent-don't let the best years of your life go to waste."

Jeffrey just smiled and nodded in gratitude.

Nat spoke from behind him. "The next thing we're talking about really doesn't concern you, so if you want to go to the lounge until about ten, that'd be fine."

Jeffrey stood up. "Alright. Cool. I'll just be downstairs then. Thank you all for your input."

* * *

_ JSterling: I guess I'll never know where I stand in my world._


	3. Thank You, Goodbye

Well I'm a terrible updater. I'll put the A/N at the end.

* * *

_"Nicholas!" _

"I'm awake!" _Just like everyday, _Nick smiled to himself. Since they were left by Mr. Duvall ten years ago, Nick's mother shouts up the stairs at 6:15 every morning without fail. Nick believed that his mother made it routine to hide her anger of the first time she shouted up the stairs more than eight years ago.

He pulled his jeans on and grabbed his phone, pausing a moment to look at the his background, the picture of him and Jeffrey.

"Mom, is the coffee ready?" he shouted back down the stairs.

_"Yes, just give the pancakes two minutes." _she replied.

Nick headed down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Morning Mom." He hugged her from behind.

"Good morning sweetheart" Nick's mom smiled and turned around to hug him. "I can't believe I only have two weeks left of this."

Nick grabbed two mugs from the dish drainer. "Mom, we still have summer together," he offered.

"Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I talked with your cousin Daniel. And he said, if you're okay with it, of course, you are welcome to spend the summer with him in Santa Monica so you can adjust to California before you start college.

Nick was completely taken aback. "Wha- are you serious? Are you okay with it?" he managed to sputter.

"Oh Nick," she chuckled. "Of course I am. I'll always be okay with what's best for you."

"I- I don't know what to say."

"Yes?" she suggested.

"Thank you."

* * *

The bell releasing Nick to lunch break finally rang. He quickly left the school to meet with his girlfriend in the parking lot.

He took a deep breath. _I gotta tell her now. What was it that Jeffrey said? "It's better to be on the proactive?" No he said something better. "Your dreams won't wait. If you want to reach them, nothing else can." Yeah. Okay. He needs to do tell her..._

Nick's thought were interrupted when he saw the head of blonde hair round the corner. A huge grin appeared on his face.

"Hey gorgeous." Nick wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her lips to his. "How's your day so far?"

"Mm, it's alright. Better now that I'm with you."

Nick looked into her eyes and sighed. "Listen, Kayla. I-I need to talk to you."

Her face paled. "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

"What? No-God, Did you...Did you want me to?" Nick asked pressingly.

Kayla let out a breath, "No. Of course not. I love you Nick."

"I love you too, Kayla." Nick wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry. What did you actually want to talk about?"

Nick dropped his arms. "Oh, um...I'm leaving for California. In two weeks."

Kayla looked up to him with an unreadable expression on her face. "Oh," was all she said.

"Please something more," Nick pleaded.

She took a second to blink a tear out of her blue eyes. "I just...you're going to be off making your dreams come true, and I'm going to be stuck here, going to school simply so I can get a job to get money and doing nothing with my life."

Nick took a moment to comprehend what Kayla was saying. " Just because you haven't found it yet, doesn't mean your purpose doesn't exist." _Wow, way to quote Jeffrey. _Nick mentally scolded himself.

The blond swallowed then locked gazes with Nick. "I didn't, and I don't want to do the long distance thing. I think we need to call it quits now."

"If that's what you want..." Nick's voice faltered and tears threatened to fall.

"Goodbye, Nick."

* * *

_Midnight. Jeffrey's Apartment_

Jeffrey laid down his couch, staring up at the ceiling. Bon Iver was playing faintly from the bedroom. The blonde pursed his lips, thinking through the day of fittings, full dance rehearsal for the shoot tomorrow, several short meetings with official looking people about one think he did wrong or another.

He sighed, stood up and walked into the bedroom. He shut iTunes and opened up Skype, selecting his mom's contact.

The call rang for a few moments before his mom's face appeared on the screen.

_"JJ? Honey what are you doing awake? It's midnight!"_

Jeffrey laughed at his mom's response. _Always the worrier_. "I could ask the same to you."

_"I'm doing a puzzle, what do you think?"_

The popstar laughed again, "I miss you Mommy."

His mom moved closer to the computer. _"Is everything okay honey?"_

"I guess…" he scratched his head. "I just, today was such a stressful day and I'm…I'm afraid I'm doing all this for the wrong reasons.

_"Jeff, tell me why _you _to be a performer."_

"Because I want to bring people together with music. I want to celebrate people. I want to have a voice."

_"It seems to me that you are doing exactly that._

He took a drink of his water and ran his hand through his hair. "But I feel like I'm just this- like a dumb pawn or something so a bunch of people in business suits can get money off of me. I'm just tired of it."

_"Jeff Sterling, everything in life is about men in business suits trying to get money. What you need to focus on is doing what you want to do, for you. That's all you can do. Don't stop doing what you love because of some people who aren't." _

A moment passed as he reflected on what she was saying. "But I'm not sure if I love this anymore."

His mom took a sip of tea and sighed. _"Jeff, I know that you love it. You've loved being on stage since you could walk. Focus on the feeling when you meet a fan or when you're on stage in front of the crowd. Do not focus on the extraneous bullshit. Okay?"_

Jeffrey couldn't help but laugh. His mother hardly cursed._ "_Alright mommy. But, how do I ignore all the pressure? It's easy to ignore to pressure from the media and society and stuff…it's just my team. They always want something ore from me."

"_What are they asking from you now?"_

"They want me to be seen seeing…girls."

The look his mom gave him was clear her heart was breaking. "JJ, do you have anyone out there to stand up for you? Anybody that knows?"

He shook his head. "No. Joanne scolds me when I tweet a smiley face because apparently _"That's too gay'" _He threw up finger quotations. "If the team found out they'd drop me in a heartbeat."

_"Honey, this probably something you should do without your team. Sometime, probably sooner than later, you'll have a reason where you'll _need _to tell everyone that you're gay. And I'm saying it's you who's going to force yourself. There may be a boy that comes into your life, and you'll love him so much that the idea of keeping him a secret is going to kill you._

"And for now?"

_"Stay strong like you've always been. Focus on today, focus on you. Okay?"_

Jeffrey smiled, "I can do that. I love you."

"_Alright. Get to bed. I have a feeling that you have a long day tomorrow?"_

"Of course! Never anything different. Finish your puzzle and go to sleep."

_"Oh fine. Good night."_

* * *

_Nick's notebook. An entry of the same night, written around 2am due to lack of sleep._

_Dear nobody,_

_I hate myself. Why do I always manage to fuck over everyone around me? Kayla feels like a failure. Because of me. Solely me. Mom told me that I should focus on myself._

_She said it's not my fault that she can't be happy for me._

_She said that if it was meant to be, we would've stayed together._

_I guess that's true though._

_Just because you're in love somebody, doesn't mean you're meant to be…._

_Why does all decent advice in my life come from his twitter account?_

_Maybe he bought one of those motivational books that mom always reads._

_Maybe I should do that._

_I dunno. I know that I was in love with Kayla (am I still allowed to be a little bit in love with her?)_

_Is she still a little bit in love with me? She broke it off with me._

_"I still love and care about my husband, but sometimes that isn't enough."_

_That's from 17 Again._

_So maybe she still is in love with me._

_But why should it matter? Nick, you are starting a new life in two weeks._

_ I just wish I could somehow make Kayla better. Because…I feel like me knowing that I have a new life starting is what broke her._

_Even if we're done, I still want her to be happy._

* * *

_Okay._

_Author's note time yippee! So as far as the story itself, I pinky promise that things will pick up. It's hard to write a story when the two main characters live on opposite sides of the country. Also, there's some changes I need to make, so I just need to figure out how to do that because sweet jesus this website is confusing for me._

_Second: some excuses for the delay! So since August... I went to an R5 concert. Personal shit happened. Went to a McFly concert. Had more shit happen. Went to another R5 concert. And then had a roller coaster-y week again, with R5 starting the #R5FamilyMemeberoftheMonth thing and naming me, and relapse as sigh._

_I have a hard time writing unless I'm in a very specific mind frame, so emotional roller coasters don't help. I wrote a two-shot thing, so if you read that you'd see that I'm also in the midst of college applications, essays, auditions, and all the enjoyment. But hell is ending in two weeks so I think I'll be able to update more often. Yayyyy_

_So I hope you enjoyed this, and thank you to all of you who have reviewed, favorited, followed, and read this. I love you all:)  
_

___-Katherine_


	4. Five, Six, Seven, Eight Hundred Calories

_Five, six, seven, eight hundred calories_

_A/N: To fill in some gaps: I reread what I had and noticed an embarrassing mistake. The choreographer's name is Austin. He's like 22 to 24ish. In chapter one he had two names. "The Wave" is a fictional radio station, but for this verse it's the main Top 40 station in Los Angeles, as well as broadcasting online and over satellite radios. Duvall has two l's for a reason, which I hope will make sense this chapter. For Kayla, don't think too much about her right now. The snippet you've seen of her is not an accurate portrayal of her, which if we did a 'put yourself in her shoes' thing you would understand. Same with Joanne, she's an interesting one. And yeah, both there mom's are genuinely the shit. This chapter is longer. I'm hoping to keep updates around this length. And most importantly, my most sincere appreciation to everyone who has take the time to read this, favorite, follow, and especially to those who review. Nothing makes me smile more than reading your appreciation._

_Again, my upmost apologies in the delay. But nevertheless, I do hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope to serve you better as an author. _

_A note: Most of this chapter has been written since before the last update, however, I saw spoilers on the whole Marley storyline in Glee. I tried to rewrite this chapter, but I felt I couldn't post any of the chapters without changing to character of Jeff that I have in my head. _

_Please note that I am adding a __trigger warning __for this chapter for eating disorders, particularly anorexia nervosa. This will be something address through out the story, and I'll let you know at the beginning of each chapter._

_Enjoy._

_-Katherine_

* * *

_11 am. A dance studio in Hollywood._

_"Five, six, seven, eight!" _Music started. People became dancers. Jeffrey stood front and center with his head down, counting through each beat of the intro.

_Hey girl,_

_I see you standing there_

_Watching me, making me _

_Want you, you, your body_

Jeffrey synced his lips along with the words, and he began doing simple steps along. He made sure he kept his eyes towards where the camera would soon be.

_I know your kind_

_You want a good time_

_So why don't you walk over here,_

_And leave the rest to me_

Jeffrey began more complicated moves, working his whole body to the music.

_Just let me work you girl_

_Let me kiss your lips_

_Just shake your little hips_

_And come a little closer._

His breath was already heavy, trying to catch up from the few bars of dancing. The girl dancers gathered around the blonde, running their hands around his chest.

_It's time, time, time to rock your body_

_Let's get your little hard beating, faster, faster_

_Kiss me a little fiercer, _

_Dance a little harder_

_Forget all the manners,_

_Don't ask my name_

_Let's just dance this night away_

_Let's do this baby_

The chorus had the hard vigorous dancing, all together. Jeffrey planted his feet for the last line and swayed a little from the intense pounding that started in his head. He blinked a few times, only to have the room start tilting left and right. His hand reached out and landed on one of the dancers, in an attempt to keep balanced.

"Cut!" some, presumably a director, shouted.

Jeffrey started walking over to the mirror and propped himself against the bar.

"Jeffrey! You okay, man?" Austin came up from behind, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah," Jeffrey never turned to see the look of genuine concern on Austin's face. "I just, I think I need some air is all." He walked towards the door, ignoring the dull roar and everybody shouting after him.

He got no more than a couple steps outside the front doors of the studio before falling to the ground.

A few bright flashes burned into Jeffrey's memory before everything went black.

* * *

_"Nicholas!" _

" 'm awake." Nick managed to mumble. He stared up at the ceiling, as he had been for several hours.

Nick sat up and dreaded the day that lay ahead. He thought of Kayla, having to face her, not sure how to behave around her anymore. He thought of all the final projects and exams looming over his head. He looked at his closet and remembered he should start packing. And then his mind drifted to his father. He loved his mother to death, and Nick knew they were better off without him. But he realized, even if he hadn't heard from the man in years, it didn't feel right to leave for the other side of the country without somehow telling him.

He slipped on fresh clothes and combed his hair without looking in the mirror. "Mom!" He grabbed his keys and headed downstairs. "Can you call me in sick?"

* * *

"_Jeffrey! Can you hear me?" _Everything was black.

"_Get off! You got your shot!" _His head was pounding.

"_C'mon man!" _Why was everyone talking so damn loudly?

"_You better leave before the police get here." _Jeffrey felt like he was on a merry-go-round. Round and round...

"_Everyone back off! Give him space!" _He tried to blink but his eyes felt so heavy.

"_Can we at least bring him inside?" _Jeffrey's eyes snapped open. Despite the people surrounding him and the bright California sunshine, his eyes remained unfocused, as though in a trance.

"Jeffrey! Are you okay? Do you need an ambulance?"

"No." The syllable escaped Jeffrey's lips without prompting.

Joanne started pushing people away and said a final word into her bluetooth. "Austin! Come here! Help get Jeffrey inside. The rest of you, take the rest of the morning off. Be ready at one."

Austin pushed through the bodies to where Jeffrey laid on the sidewalk. "Can you sit up?" he asked in a low, concerned tone.

The blonde's eyelids started batting shut.

"No, c'mon stay awake till I can get you inside okay? Let's go." The choreographer slipped his arms underneath Jeffrey's body and lifted him easily. "Jesus, you're light," he muttered. He pushed through the front doors of the studio. Joanne followed closely behind him, shouting final orders to small crowd and locked the doors behind her.

Austin opened the lounge and laid the popstar down on the couch. Jeffrey groaned when his head fell back against the arm rest. "What's going on man? You seemed fine earlier."

Jeffrey rolled his head over to look at his choreographer. "No...no. I'm fine. Really. I'm just..."

"You are not fine!" Joanne opened the door holding a bottle of water and a granola bar. "What were you thinking? You can't just..." Her voice trailed off and she ripped her bluetooth off. "Dammit Jeff! Sit up. You need to eat this."

"No," he slowly shook his head. "I don't. I'm fine." He pushed up off the couch a bit and blinked as the room started spinning again.

"I don't care what I have to do, you are eating!" Her voice rose as she grew frustrated.

"Jo! Calm down."

She drew a breath. "Please, Jeff. Just eat this. Please." His eyes traveled from Austin to Joanne, reading the worry on their faces. "Fine."

He took the bar from Joanne and stared at the wrappings. He tried to remember the last time he ate. There was some awards show pre-party. He remembered how looking at everyone's plates, all almost empty. The plate in front of him was untouched. There were more than a few incredulous glances tossed his direction. He took a few bites of the pasta dish in front of him. Just reflecting on how many calories, how many carbs, how much fat which was now clinging to his stomach, made his throat go dry.

Jeffrey pushed himself more so he was now sitting upright. He looked up again at Joanne's and Austin's faces, and sighed whiled he opened the foil wrapping. He lifted his shaking fingers onto the bar and broke a small piece off. Jeffrey lifted it to his mouth and set it on his tongue. It felt weird; his tongue hadn't touched anything asides from the roof of his mouth for a while. He set his teeth in and began chewing.

"_What are the measurements for his hips? What about his stomach? No, that can't be right."_

And chewing.

"_Give that to me. You're doing it wrong. It's not possible for his to gain that...oh."_

"_Jesus Christ, Mr. Sterling. How much do you eat?"_

And chewing.

"_Mr. Sterling, I know that as a nineteen year old boy, your figure really isn't at the top of your to-do list. But you're more than just some nineteen year old boy, okay? Part of being you is looking good. And the first step to looking good is actually fitting into your clothes." As they said this he_ re_membered standing in front of the mirror, grabbing rolls of skin, fingers falling over layers of fat. _

He paused for a moment, taking notice to how hungry he was. Jeffrey remembered back to high school, sitting in psychology learning about selective attention, something about how you never notice how your ears felt until you think about them. He never noticed the hunger pains until he thought about it.

Joanne looked over at Austin and mouthed something to him. The choreographer nodded, and gave one last look to the blonde boy on his couch, before turning to leave the lounge.

_Count down from five and swallow Jeff, _he told himself.

_Five._ His eyes looked at the wrappings.

_Four. _Three hundred-twenty calories.

_Three._ And about a fifth of that was in his mouth.

_Two._ At least sixty calories about to go into his stomach.

_One. Swallow. _

He felt it in his throat, immediately feeling sick. "Can...Would you please get me some water?" he choked out. He squeezed his eyes shut. _You're so stupid._

A moment later Joanne sat down next to him with a water bottle. "Jeff...tell me honestly. How are you?"

He opened the bottle and took two small sips. "I'm fine. I just ran late and missed breakfast."

"No, no you didn't. You've been skipping much more than that." She sighed. He held his breath. "I've noticed you weren't eating. I was hoping you just didn't like eating in front of people or, I don't know. I've been scared for you but..." her voice trailed off.

Jeffrey just looked down at his hands. He started picking at the skin around his nails, not having the courage to look her in the eye.

"I know I'm tough on you, and if any of that is why, I'm so sorry. And you'll probably going to hate me for this, but we have to get you treatment. It's...Jeff this isn't healthy. You deserve better."

He shook his head, "No, no I'm fine. I've just been stressed. That's all."

"Stop lying to me, stop lying to yourself. I get that you really don't feel like talking about it right now, or for a very long time."

"There's nothing to talk about," he muttered. Jeffrey didn't believe his own words. He knew what he did to his body every day wasn't "healthy," but it was under control.

"I just want you to relax in here. Please, at least eat the rest of that bar. I"m going to go get you an apple. Okay?"

Jeffrey took another sip of the water and paused. He knew it was for the best. He'll just run a little further at the gym tonight to make up for it, and to make up for the rehearsal time they're missing because of this. "Yeah. Okay."

* * *

Half and hour later, Nick sat in the parking lot of North Shore High School, trying to gather the courage to walk in side. It was a weird school; a lot was going on and students traveled in packs of carbon copies of each other. _Carpe Diem. Seize the Day. It won't wait._

Nick left his car and walked a little too quickly towards the front office. He waited in front of the receptionist to finish her phone call. His heart started beating faster, it felt like a countdown.

The lady hung up the phone. "Hi sweetheart. How can I help you?"

He cleared his throat. "Um, I just needed to talk to m- er, the principal really quickly. Is he available right now?" He immediately looked down at his shoes. _What the hell are you doing Nick? You don't even know what you're going to say._

"I believe so, let me check." She stood up, walked over to the door and knocked on it. A beat passed and she slowly opened the door. "Do you have a minute? Someone wants to talk to you," she said into the office.

The receptionist turned back around and looked to Nick. "You can go on in, honey."

He nodded, "Thank you." He took seven steps to the front of the door and set is hand on the knob. _Deep breath. And go. _He turned it and walked it.

The man in the room sat behind the desk, reading over a calendar. "You can go ahead and sit down. Did we have an appointment? I didn't have anything written down for today..."

Nick sat down, but his voice caught in his throat. He just stared at the man he almost recognized from pictures stuffed in the attic.

He sat up and looked to Nick. "What can I help you with?"

"You- Do you recognize me?" Nick cursed himself for how weak he sounded.

"Maybe? You look somewhat familiar. Where would I know you from? What's your name?"

"Nick. Nick Duvall. Remember me? Your son?"

A silence broke in the office. The only noises heard was the faint sound of the students outside.

"Liz's kid?"

Nick sat up straighter as he resisted the urge to just walk out. "I think I'm actually both of yours. That's usually how parents work. There's two of them, even if one of them does all the work."

Mr. Duvall sighed and leaned back. "Nick...I- I wasn't expecting you. Um, How are you?" he asked a little too awkwardly.

Nick laughed inwardly. "I'm fine. I'm leaving for college in a few weeks."

"Oh, wow. You're going to college already? I didn't realize." Nick could tell how uncomfortable he felt. But he didn't feel guilty for showing up. No dad should forget their own kid.

"Yeah. I got a scholarship from University of Southern California for their film school."

Mr. Duvall lifted his eyebrows and nodded along. "Oh, so you're going into film? That's great. What else are you interested in?"

_Terrorism, threatening national security, drug trades. _Nick laughed inwardly at his own joke. "I like music, I don't really play much but it really interests me. And writing."

"You're artistic? That's really great. We're losing a lot of those minds." He paused a moment. "So do you have a girlfriend or anything?"

Nick rolled his yes. "No, I guess not. I dated this girl Kayla, kinda on and off, for about a year and a half. But she ended it yesterday. And this time I think it's best to keep it this way."

"What was she like?" he asked.

"She was short and blond. She played volleyball, and is really good. But colleges aren't really interested in girls who aren't at least five foot-eight, so I guess that's over for her. Kayla's really spunky and headstrong, she doesn't take too well to bullshit."

Mr. Duvall leaned back. "She sounds great. Balanced you pretty well did she?"

"Yeah. Definitely."

The door opened to present a tall woman with curled puffy brown hair and thin brown glasses. "Oh, I'm sorry am I interrupting anything?"

Nick answered before his father could. "Not at all. We were just finishing." He stood up and turned to the man behind the desk. "Thanks for your time Mr. Duvall."

"Uh, yes. It was good to talk with you. I guess I will see you around?"

Nick walked passed the woman. "No, probably not," and he shut the door.

He paused at the door just a moment. _"Who was that?" _the woman asked.

"_Oh, he's just nobody."_


End file.
